Shadow, Shadman, Mr. Shad. Goodbye.

Today we had to say goodbye to our beloved cat Shadow (????-2022). I don’t know where he came from, and I don’t know where he’s going, but he was with me for roughly ten joyous years, and was an A+ #1 pal, best friend, buddy, comfort, teacher, and legendary cat.

Shadow, doing a model pose, Nov 2016

We didn’t know how old he was, but in the last year or so his health had slowly declined. Over the past couple months, he seemed to be struggling to finish meals, and a visit to the vet suggested possible hyperthyroid issues, and signs of kidney failure. The vet advised waiting a month, watching him, and getting his blood checked again.

However, in that time his health deteriorated more, and the last week he slowly stopped accepting any food (even Popeye’s chicken!), had more trouble walking around, and difficulty using the litterbox. So, Friday evening we found ourselves making the difficult decision to help him go peacefully before his suffering grew worse.

We were grateful to be able to say goodbye to him in our home, with assistance and care, and to hold him and love him in his final moments. We have a nice spot picked out for him in the garden. You can read on for more about him and too many pictures, if you wish.

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Baked Pumpkin/Banana Oats Breakfast Concept

For a long time, Kat had been doing a form of chia pudding for breakfast. On one day growing weary of it, she declared a need for a Brand New Breakfast Concept.

While I declared that my new band name, she began making a baked oats dish, until at some point, due to scheduling issues and These Terrible Times We Live In, it fell to me, and I needed A Recipe Of Some Kind, and found this Kodiak Cakes Air Fryer Oats recipe.

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A Clear Forest Pool

Adam Crossing the Neversink River

“Try to be mindful, and let things take their natural course. Then your mind will become still in any surrounding, like a clear forest pool. All kinds of wonderful, rare animals will come to drink at the pool, and you will see clearly the nature of all things. You will see many strange and wonderful things come and go, but you will be still. Problems will arise, but you will see through them immediately. This is the happiness of the Buddha.”

Ajahn Chah

I’ve had brief glimpses of this. “Self” as water feels like a good metaphor for the experience of being. “I” am not my thoughts or emotions; “I” am something else (awareness?), which can sometimes feel like a turbulent, cloudy pool, or a rushing river, and that’s not the nature of water, but a function of its conditions at the moment.

Success! Crossing the Neversink River

Dear Dad

I wish I’d been an adult when I was a teenager. You only ever wanted to connect, but I let my mom turn me against you in your disability. She made me an ally in her abuse and I was just a kid, trying to survive my teen years.

I was at times cruel to you. I was, after all, a teenager.

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