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Lana Del Arr's ‘Ultrapirates’ (parody lyrics for songs from Lana Del Rey’s ‘Ultraviolence’

A couple years back I was into the idea of Lana Del Rey’s album “Ultraviolence” as a pirate-themed album. My family joked about a version called “Ultrapirates.”

Naturally I ended up writing some alternate lyrics. There’s only two; I never got around to doing “Buccaneer Baby” (for “Brooklyn Baby”). Anyway, I figured I should put them online for posterity…

Songs by Lana Del Arr, from the hit album “Ultrapirates” #

(credit to Katie​ for the title & artist)

“Florida Cargo” (to the tune of “Florida Kilos”) #

White shine, royal sailor, doubloons,
Don’t you see them gleam,
They’re special, just for you.
White palms, black gun powder on the move,
Sailin’ for a dream,
Stowin’ diamonds in the hold.

I feel you, royal sailor, feel me,
Leavin’ us is hard, joinin’ us is free.
We fly false flag, fly false flag on each go,
But you already know that, you already know.

Come on down to Florida,
We got somethin’ for ya.
We could steal the cargo
From the keys, sailor, arr yeah.

Guns in the summertime,
Don’t get scurvy, eat a lime.
Prison isn’t nothin’ to us,
If ye’ll be on our side.

Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho,
And all the rope things
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho.

Gold on your ears in round hoops,
You’ll like us royal sailor,
If you like lots of loot.
White shine, from the silver in your teeth,
Or wear it in your beard,
Or round your neck beneath.

Come on down to Florida,
We got somethin’ for ya.
We could steal the cargo
From the keys, sailor, arr yeah.

Guns in the summertime,
Don’t get scurvy, eat a lime.
Prison isn’t nothin’ to us,
If ye’ll be on our side.

Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho,
And all the rope things
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho.

We could dry dock in Port Royal,
Arr, drink the night away.
Parrots even drink in Port Royal,
Arr, that’s what they all say.

(You believe us, don’t you, sailor?)

Come on down to Florida,
We got somethin’ for ya.
We could steal the cargo,
From the keys, sailor, arr yeah.

Guns in the summertime,
Don’t get scurvy, eat a lime.
Prison isn’t nothin’ to us,
If ye’ll be on our side.

Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho,
All the Floridians say,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho,
All the Colombians say,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho,
And all my shipmates,
Yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho.
That’s how we do it like.

Mm, arr, royal sailor,
White shine, royal sailor,
Gold teeth, royal sailor, yeah,
Drink the night away.

“The Other Schooner” (to the tune of “The Other Woman”) #

The other schooner has time to trim and furl her sails
The other schooner is perfect where her rival fails
And she’s never seen with caulking in her hull anywhere

The other schooner is always filled with French doubloons
The other schooner has fresh taught rope for every boom
There are never rats that scatter everywhere

And when each sailor comes to call
He finds her waiting like a lonesome queen
‘Cause to be by her side it’s such a change from old routine

But the other schooner will always have you on the swab
The other schooner will never let you have some grog
And as the years go by the other schooner will bore you to the bone
The bone
The bone